Dogs Don’t Care
by Kathleen Dunbar
Dogs as a whole
don’t care what they look like
(except perhaps for poodles).
Let yourself find that dignity
and freedom
that creatures know
—let the sense of you being you
in the moment
just as you are
become a little fuller.
Your body will thank you
(it already knows how
and will be glad you listened).
Your heart will
relax—finally!
The miracle is You—
beauteous, unique,
sometimes with fleas,
alive and here.
Don’t let the thoughts
that compare and criticize you
be the only show in town.
They never took into account
the mystery that is you.
Be as dog, or horse,
mouse
or walrus—
trust yourself
howl wildly, run, snort
play and growl
taste and smell
sing and dance
and most of all be here.
The body that you were given
is exquisite.
Your heart is waiting for you
to love yourself.
You are amazing.
© Kathleen Dunbar 2020
We all have a True Self and when we live from this self we naturally engage in what interests us. However, if we’ve been hurt in some way as kids or young people we often end up putting away our True Selves in order to survive. The way we do this is, as I put it, by hiring a security team. The security team are “parts” of us that keep us safe by limiting our life force. Like any security team worth their salt they are highly trained to act at a moment’s notice and shut things down at the slightest whiff of danger. They give voice to the security messages they have learned to keep us safe, like “Don’t try new things,” “I could never do that,” or “I’ll fail.” 
Here’s a short video from Stephen Porges, one of the leading specialists on healing trauma through social engagement. It’s so important right now to reach out and both see and hear our friends and family on video and phone because that regulates our nervous systems, restoring resilience, aliveness, compassion and generosity. Texts and emails are helpful, but not enough: We are biologically wired to need to hear, see and feel others as we co-regulate. Though we can’t use touch during this time as we normally would, hearing a loved one’s voice and seeing a friend’s smile go a long way to help us ground and relax. Here’s the link: 
All your choices have brought you to this moment. You did the best you could. Thank the voices that criticize you by telling them “I know you’re only trying to help.” I mean it–really do this–thank them! That’s an audacious and sophisticated act that results in a healing shift in the following way: When you thank your critics, you are actually adding some needed separation between yourself and them and you’re doing something very healing. The self that has the ability to thank your critics is your True Self, so capable and amazing, and untarnishable as gold. Because after all, the critics are the valiant security team you hired as a kid to make sense of a disrupted and hurtful world. They just go into overdrive and that’s the problem. But here’s one way to begin to change the channel. Give it a try, tell them thanks. Feel for the little bit of space and calm that comes. Breathe. Congratulations, you’ve just come back home!
Kathleen Dunbar 