Accordion Song

Posted on May 28, 2013 by Kathleen Dunbar

Hey Folks, Here’s the lyrics, and you can LISTEN along by
clicking the link, which is: Accordion Song

Accordion Song
Words by Kathleen Dunbar
Music by Kathleen Dunbar and Gawain Matthews

when we meet I hold the candle
when we part put out the flame
far from home I’m bought and sold
kisses bitter, love the name

when you ask I do not answer
words you speak I do not know
keep me in the cage you fashioned
say you’ll never let me go

lai dai dai-ee-dai
lai dai dai-ee-dai
lai-dai dai-dai
lai-dai dai-dai
lai-dia-dai-daiiiiiiii-dah-ee-daiii

love I wear a little dress of gold and red
how sweet and wise I lead you to my bed
laugh and dance, how deep the sin
spell is cast—we both fall in

I’m your bird, oh-ho you bid me sing
‘pon the cage I beat my wings
sky your blue eyes, close and cool
crumbs of love like broken jewels

midnight’s hush, how cold the wind
turn the key—the dark pours in
at the window—don’t ask why
drop your hands and let me fly

© by Kathleen Dunbar and Gawain Mathews

Photos By Kathleen Dunbar

Listen to “Accordion Song” from my CD The Storm in Our Head on Bandcamp or find it on my website, kathleendunbarmusic.com

You Would

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Kathleen Dunbar

you would

I would like to write
a fabulous poem
that described heart-thirst
in a way where
I’d become famous after I died
and while I was alive
I’d be interviewed
and, well, closer in time
my friends would
ooh and ah over the poem
and congratulate me
for saying such things
and tell me how it touched them
and more intimately
you would . . .
you would what?

when I offered this poem to you
all the poems I’ve ever written would ignite at once
the words blacken and melt
and the papers curl
they would clothe me in their smoke
rushing and delirious as freed souls
and finally leave me naked
at the temple
the primal one where
the god and goddess join their hips
in the motion that shakes even the stars
the reaching, falling
brief white stars
and you would . . .
you would what?

after all that hoopla
I’d find you standing
wide-shouldered and warm
on the place where
the at-last burned and broken engines
of my wishes
sleep among the roots of the earth
and a poem is the way
you look at me
and you would be looking at me
and you would . . .
you would what?

you would love me enough
to invite me home
to the place I’ve been looking for
all of my life

Photos by Kathleen Dunbar

Here’s a love song from my first CD — the song is called Round and Round and you can hear it right now on Bandcamp or www.kathleendunbarmusic.com

Until The Fur Comes Off

Posted on April 30, 2013 by Kathleen Dunbar

Until The Fur Comes Off

The child knows—take Bear to bed
and you’ll know what to do with the dark,
you’ll be able to sleep
and dream the seed that
grown tall, will make a life.

And what do we do
those of us
who had no one
to believe in us but Bear
who with his eloquent dignity
welcomed us every time
until the fur came off
and then some.

He saw our hearts break
when no one else did.
He didn’t yell when we
made a mistake!
Paw in hand he went with us
on the journey
into a darkness
that was not only at night.

We all need someone
who can name us to ourselves—
it is after all
what it is about—
we need this naming
to make a beginning
where we do not have to grow
into the extremes of grief
that make daily wars
(some in foreign places
some in our own kitchens).

We step deeply into life
when a person can say aloud to us
what Bear could never speak
in sounds that make warm waves
in the blood of our heart—
we need to hear the words
as vital as air and dinner and sleep
“Ah, you are afraid, my love,
you are beautiful,
you are sad,
you are alive and belong with us,
it’s okay, my love
it’s okay,”
and wonder of wonders
we suddenly find our hand in theirs
and grow a little more shining and sturdy.

It doesn’t get rid of the dark
but the sound
of the naming
gives us the dignity
we gave Bear to hold for us
in hopes we would grow into it—
the dignity to know we matter.

Better late than never, my love.
Find someone kind to listen to you
and then return it and be kind back
until the guns of the war of broken hearts
grow quiet
and the blood in your heart
is alive with good sounds—
tears and laughter and wonder
your own and those of your beloveds:
friend, son, daughter, partner,
grocery clerk,
all.

It isn’t only make believe,
it is real magic if you want it:
go tell somebody you see them
and bravely ask for them to see you
the whole grand round—
let it in and give it
until your fur comes off.

Photo by Kathleen Dunbar

If you’d like to hear a sweet song of welcoming, you can listen to “The Circle Returns to the Place where it Starts” from my first album, Finally Home, at www.kathleendunbarmusic.com or on Bandcamp.

I Want To Tell You That You Are Okay

Posted on April 16, 2013 by Kathleen Dunbar

Listen to me read this poem for you at this link:
I Want To Tell You That You Are Okay

I want to tell you
that you are okay

I want to be
the flower for you
the small diamond water
of the fountain
with the mossy stones
the clear song of the bird
that breaks your heart
enough
so that you begin
to remember
it’s okay to be alive

I know how hard it is
I have the scars, too
from the jagged monster
who chews its children
and leaves them
tense-boned and
half-alive
the monster of breaking
who fills small bodies
with knowledge so unspeakable
that the most golden of bells
can make no sound

but my love
if you keep hope
behind the wall
it is no good
no good
you have to walk out
into the open now
though every sinew
curdles
for bone and will
have done their work
they have brought you
here
but they are
useless creatures
when confronted
with kindness

what was given to you
long ago–
the sad old spasm
of protection–
with that you
can never know honey
you can never truly
deeply
laugh

oh, those old wars
they are over and gone
instead
my warm hand is here
and I’ll tell you
over and over
with the eloquent language
of my fingers
my breath
my eyes that have seen
death and lived
I will tell you gladly
that we are home at last
alive most deeply
in our own dignity

though the hired warrior
has kept you walking
let him lay down
in the garden’s earth now
and sumptuously rot
kindly let him come apart in
worm and root
till his hollowness
has healed into
the soft den of an animal

you have always been
the untarnishable gold bell
and the crazy wild heart of its
star-made clapper
and it is time, my love
for you to
ring

Photos by Kathleen Dunbar

Please also explore a song of connection and love in this crazy life, from my first CD, “Finally Home,” called Round and Round. Here’s the direct link to the song on Bandcamp, or at explore my music at www.kathleendunbar.com

A Little Bit Of Yum

Posted on March 26, 2013 by Kathleen Dunbar

a little bit of yum

a little bit of yum
a crumb
a crunch, a bite
and then we’re done.
tidbit, morsel, taste, a drop
a soupçon, nosh
and then we’ll stop.

ambrosia, nectar, we adore
if only just . . .
one mouthful more!

a delectable, a relished heat
to finish off that spicy treat
the midnight hankering for flavor
the craving for the thing we savor
chocolate rapture, rich delight
upon the palette erudite
we nibble, lead by inward urge
oh just this once
no harm to splurge!
the dazed give-in
to appetite.

the moment best
when we can let
the nectar linger,
longing met. . .
it’s not the taste
though that does please
it’s the yearning of
the heart for ease—
and scary! to admit the ache
much easier to reach for—
cake!

we’re vulnerable when we believe
that we could let ourselves
receive
the sustenance to mend our hurt—
that kindness is our just dessert
and hunger is a thing to show, so
take the meal,
and eat it—slow—
in the savoring
the heart will know. . .

. . . the honey, goody, nibble of
the sweet we really want
is love.

Photo by Kathleen Dunbar

Here’s a little bit of music yum, my song We All Love You on Bandcamp and at my website www.kathleendunbarmusic.com

“I am walking in jeweled shoes” –a Valentine’s Day poem

Posted on February 14, 2013 by Kathleen Dunbar

I am walking in jeweled shoes

I am walking in jeweled shoes
the people have made them
for my feet
in joy they have made them
from the dark earth
from the blind earth
from the old earth
the earth has cooked up
red and turquoise and blue
these are her spirit dreams
from deep inside her body
and the people have gathered them
with their hands
of honey color
and love
oh the people of my village
celebrate my going
to you
they have given me
this gift
so that I may walk in beauty
and feel the earth hold me
all the way down
they are the gift for me
joy-woman
as I open my heart
to my man
and dance
in wild amazement!

you and I will not hear the jewels
of my shoes
begin to sing
as I slip them off
this one
that one
your hand helping
but they do
in high and low voices
the people have placed them
soft handed and teasing
tenderly and wise
upon my feet
we cannot hear their song
lost as we are
in our succulent beginning
our wild sacred dance
but we have been
well blessed
we have been blessed
all the way
down

photo by Kathleen Dunbar

here’s a love song to listen to from my new cd The Storm in Our Head, called Cello Song
find it on my website, too www.kathleendunbarmusic.com

Wolves In The Bathtub

Posted on February 5, 2013 by Kathleen Dunbar

wolves in the bathtub

email to: melissa (the cleaning lady)
from: kathleen (the broken hearted)
re: cleaning news

hi melissa,

no more owen, I
cried buckets
he got scared of
closeness
and receiving love
(no kidding!)
and ran away
“a lone wolf”
says he
no word since!

how crummy that
our families
with all their sloshing
fear and anger
can leave such a scum
upon the fine porcelain
of our love
that some of us
never fill again
our aching hearts
but move out
and on
and never in

as you know
my bathtub is old
and the porcelain’s shine
is compromised
but it is deep, deep
and I love it
it has sure feet
and welcomes me
and it is enough that
it is attended to
and clean
and in fact
I prefer character
over five-star-shiny
if the price for spotlessness be
no contact
with the psyche’s
deeps

now about my shower
as you know
it stands separately
in its own enclosed space
too dark to easily
shave my legs
probably designed
by someone
who did not like to
let light in
dark places…

the upshot—
please clean the ceiling of the shower
as there is no more owen
with his tallness
and helpfulness in the event
of safe disasters
(ie mold on the shower ceiling
as opposed to
the breaking open of a heart—
the patience and kindness
needed by two people
to share the insane pain
of the first real reaching up
into love
past the grim hurting stains
left by our families
and after that, all the attendant
care and maintenance
needed to continue
to be vulnerable,
divine and ordinary,
cleansed—enough—of
growing up
to enter the waters
with one another)…

the stool for you to
get to that height
is as always
and commitedly so
in the hall closet

I wish for owen
somewhere
howling inwardly
and alone
for him to put his wolfpaw
upon his heart
till it turns into the
hand of a man
and find some glimmer
that will allow him
to make real contact
with himself and others
to know he is
good enough
and to learn someday
that the wolf
after all
is really a tribal
not a lone creature!

my weeping was loud
while in the tub
it has left traces
you will not see
but I’m okay

I pray for
a wolf of the tribes
to come running into the bath someday
to jump in the waters with me
and become human
and go deep
and tribal
and down
and anyway
if not, or until then,
my heart is large
and fine
and open,
scrubbed enough
to be serviceable
recognizable
and quite able
(though it be joy or sadness)
to be filled
to the
brim

I wish the
same for
him.

*sigh*
kd

Photo by Kathleen Dunbar

Would ya like to hear one of my love songs? Just click on the title to take you to the song: Accordion Song Or visit my website and find it: kathleendunbarmusic

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